Growing up, I always told myself that I was never going to become like my parents, or raise my future children the way that they raised me. At times I felt that my mother was too mean and restrictive, that she never wanted me to be happy or have any fun, she never understood me and she just didn't know how she made me feel. Being 21 years old now, I look back and kind of count the lessons that she taught me grouping up. Her "harsh" judgments proved to know my every move (and sometimes thoughts), and I realize now that there were many great lessons that she taught me as a youth that made me as disciplined as I am today. Without the way that my parents raised me, I don't know if I would have turned out the way I am today. And that is a good thing because I actually like who I am today. I also feel very strongly that our loving Heavenly Father has put us with the family he knows can teach us what we need to know here on earth. That the parents we have now are the best equip to teach and raise us as long as they are choosing to live righteously. But, back to talking about parenting...
Although this refining process of becoming who I am today was a combination of trials and guidance from The Lord and my parents, I still appreciate the things that they had taught me, even thought sometimes I wish they had handled it differently. As I grew up, I noticed that my mother and father handled each of us a little bit differently. For example, my whole family is filled with baseball and softball players and all of us had started playing at a very young age. So we had a few years of experience by the time we had gotten to middle school. My older sister is two three grades older than me, so I was young at the time she was in the 8th grade. On her 8th grade softball team, she was bullied and teased about her weight and the way that she played. This very much was a hard trial for my sister (since this wasn't the first time that she had been bullied), and my mother let her quit in toward the end of the season and accepted that she never wanted to pick up another softball again. Then years down the road as I continued to play, I had made the High School Varsity team as freshman. This was a trial for me because the girls didn't like me due to many things about me physically and personally. I struggled with these bullies for the next 4 years and was never allowed to quit. My parents argued that I had come too far and worked too hard to get where I was and shouldn't let these girls chase me off because I was stronger. They worked hard to convince me that quitting wasn't going to be worth it, and i can wait until after the season to quit (since I was wanting to quit right before the State Championship Tournament). I grudgingly stayed on the team and endured to the end. And much to my own surprise, I had played my absolute best and pulled through tough plays in the tournament and made a big difference for my team. We ended up winning the State Championship, and it was a huge moment for me because I proved many people wrong that day.
To this day I cannot thank my parents enough for not letting me quit. Although at the time I thought it wasn't fair, because my sister went through the a similar experience but she was allowed to do what she had wanted and quit but I wasn't. I asked my parents why they didn't let me quit but they let her quit. And they told me that they knew me, they knew my potential, they knew how hard I had worked, and they knew I would have regretted it if I didn't stick it out. They knew I was tough and could handle the trial for a little while longer. This lesson taught me that I can not only do hard things (and even be successful) but that I can endure hard things. The next few years after this experience, I faced many hard trials physically and mentally. But I had no doubt that I could overcome them and be successful because I had done it before. I don't think I can thank may parents enough for teaching me that I can do hard things. And that not every solution works for everyone. They knew for my sister, she wouldn't have similar results because her circumstances were different.
And this ties me back to having a firm testimony that we have a very loving Father In Heaven and he knows us perfectly. He knew from the very beginning who would be the best fit as parents for us, because we would need them. And he wants us to be successful. Parenting is very much a divine calling from God himself.
Whose Your Family?
Thursday, December 6, 2018
Thursday, November 29, 2018
In the world that we live in today, many people have mixed understandings of the position and role of a Father. We see overtime that family units have evolved over the centuries. When I hear about my grandparents relationship with their parent and siblings I am jealous that they had grown up so close together, even with really hard circumstances... when I read an article about how families used to work together and how they work now I discovered something that was very interesting. Back when farming was one of the main sources of work for men they were able to stay home and work on their family farm which often involved the helping hands of their children and wife. The family worked very closely together to support each other and while doing so created a bond very strong between them all that would last throughout their lives. But now today, work has taken the man out of the home and into an entirely different place that causes him to be away from the family. Often for long periods of time. We see that our children and families are not as close with their fathers (and sometimes even mothers) because work has pulled them away and their energy and attention has been shifted.
Has this had an impact on the society? I absolutely believe that it has. Fathers being away from their homes, not being their to support their wife and teach their children important values has greatly caused problems in our society today. How? Well just by my own experience growing up in a public school system and seeing the data from research. I noticed that my friends who didn't have a father figure in their life (or didn't have their biological father) or their father was never home, or they lived in a broken home, seriously struggled with morality, education and making good decisions when it came to relationships or problem solving, they begin experimenting with drug and committing crimes. They were always looking for something. These problems that they had led them down hard roads that made their lives a little more difficult like teen pregnancy, broken hearts, droping out of school, etc. And this isn't even just my friends or the people in my community, this is all over the United States. And because so many young adults are making these decisions they are causing a shift or a change in (not only family values) society and the economy. And what I mean by that is these decisions are leading to more single parent homes, less marriage, more STDS and other problems which would effect the economy.
It has also been researched and proven they the majority of teenagers who get involved in these kinds of acts have no father in their home. No influence that can teach their boys how to be man and handle their thoughts, feelings and desires. I absolutely believe that God has created both man and women to balance their families and teach their children effective life skills and working together to create the most happiness hey can achieve in this life. I am extremely grateful for my father and the influence he has been in my life. while my mother nurtured and understood me, and helped me through my problems and drama, my father taught me to work hard and to be respectful and have integrity no matter where I am and no matter where I go. I believe that it is true that the mother brings in the children while the father helps prepare them for the world.
Friday, November 23, 2018
The relationship between me and my
family members has changed a lot for me throughout the years. I remember that
my relationship with my older brother was horrible because we fought all the
time and never could see eye to eye. My older sister always stayed to herself (partly
because me and my brother was so different, she never wanted to take sides). My
relationship with both of my parents was an unfamiliar one, they were the
authority that I listened to and had to respect and was expected to love,
because they were not home all that much and I especially felt like I didn’t know
my father. And as a result of all of this, I know that I made not the best decisions
as a youth, because I didn’t receive that kind of guidance from the God given
helpers that I had. They, just like every parent and family is for an
individual, were my foundation. And if that foundation doesn’t get taken care
of, cracks start to form, and eventually the foundation falls… and so does that
individual.
The reason why I say all of these
things, is because this family dynamic that I had changed as we moved to a new
state (due to my father’s job), away from the rest of my family (so all we had was
each other) and my mom didn’t have to work anymore so she stayed home with us
as we went though school. Which was the biggest blessing ever. I can see,
almost immediately, the effect that these changes had on my family because we
became closer together. As my mother started focusing more on fulling our needs
as a family, she helped bring us all together as she applied family councils. Because
of some beef that me and my brother had in the past, we still never really got
along. My sister still stayed to herself, my brother still had anger issues and
I was a huge mess because I was being bullied in high school. And plus, my dad was
spending so much time away from us as a family. But my mother knew so much
better than us, she knew something needed to change in our family and she turned
to doing family councils every night after our family did Family Home evening
together. In these councils we discussed our week, talked about our worries, stresses,
maybe what we learned, what we were going to do that week (relating to school, sports,
performances, jobs, church activities). We were able to settle our differences and
were able to all get on the same page. I found out how my family members were stressed
out in their daily lives, what bothered them and how I can change to help them.
They also listened to me and the things that were bothering me. We all agreed
to work on what we needed to change as individuals to help our family at this
stressful time in our lives.
I noticed that my brother began to
try harder, our communication was now opened that we could talk to each other about
our feelings rather than be enemies and fight each other all the time. My dad
began to spend less time at work and more time with us. I began to develop the
best relationship with my dad. We are now the bestest of friends and I understand
him and what he goes through. I help him by making him laugh… I would have
never known half of the things I know about my family members if it wasn’t for
having family councils. Which opened the door of communication for us and
seriously helped our relationship as a family. This is something that has saved
my relationship with my family, and it is something I highly recommend for all
families.
Thursday, November 15, 2018
What are some major problems that drive families apart? Research
shows that some of the top stresses in family life are the loss of a child
(extremely likely for the marriage to end in divorce in under 2 years) losing a
spouse or a loved one and of course money, among many other things. As we all
have experienced trials and tragedies in our lives. Can you think of times when
you and your family was able to work through a difficult trial? How did you all
get through it? How did you personally respond? Did it bring your family closer
together or did it push you all farther apart? Did you learn and grow from this
trial or period of stress you all went through? These are often good questions
to ask ourselves when we are either going through the hard trial or looking
back at the hard trials that caused your family so much stress. But what even
is stress? I know of a couple in my life that handle stress in very different
ways, the wife always stresses to be the little monster inside of her that
turns her into the hulk. And the husband just shuts down and let things
go. How come certain situations in our lives cause us to respond in different
ways? Well, let’s talk more about the process of stress and figure out what
influences to react or respond in different ways.
But
first of all, we are all different, we have different trials and experiences,
point of views and ideas. We all are going to naturally respond differently to
different situations. Like when the wife gets mad and when the husband
shuts down. But in these moments, we can’t just be thinking about ourselves…
but how is this affecting their relationship with each other and their family.
the wife lets her emotions fly while the husband keeps them in. How does that
show their children how to respond to stressful situations? Sounds like they
don’t cope too well as individuals and this could affect how they cope as a
couple…). But what effects that way that we cope.
I think the first element has to do with
the particular event that we face as a family. Like I mentioned earlier, all
families go through very trying times and trials that cause tons of stress. But
each situation is different, like the relationship between husband and wife at
the time, it can be very good, or it could be very bad (possibly shifting the
relationship to the opposite during the time of trial). Or there could be more
stresses that the family could be going through at that time that makes the
current situations even worse. What is most interesting about this concept
though has to do with our mindset or perspective of each trial. I have known
and have heard of many families that coped very well with so many difficult
situations in their lives that resulted in bringing their family closer
together verses letting it get farther apart. I have also known and have heard
of many families who did the complete opposite and their family broke apart. I
think the main difference in each outcome has to do with the family members
looking outward instead of doing what is totally naturally and looking inward
thinking of their pains and emotions.
The next element has to do with the
resources that are available to us at the time of trial. Who is there to support
us? Do we even have a supporting family? Do we go to church and turn to our
faith or do we go to work and avoid home to avoid the pain of the circumstance?
Sometimes we choose resources that will give the wrong impression to a loved
one because they don’t understand the intention behind the action that we do.
But if families come together, they are more likely to handle the hardship of the
trial together in their family unit and can come out even stronger because of
the trial that they faced.
Going through trials is hard, but its also
a chance to grow. Not only as an individual, but also as a family.
Thursday, November 8, 2018
I have a memory that I look back on and realized juts how
much of a learning experience to was for me. At the time, it was very embarrassing…
but I laugh at it now. When I was in the second grade, I believed that sex was something
that only big-time sinners did, one of the worst sins you could possibly commit,
according to how I understood what my parents taught me. I then remember one
day in school when one of my friends was joking about sex, I thought his soul
was going to be in danger if I let him go any farther with his jokes so I told
him what I believed. He looked at me like I was the crazy one and told me that
se was something that everyone did, and he tried to teach me that sex was the
only way to have babies. I told him that he was wrong because God sends you babies
when your married. When I got home and told my mom about the situation, she
just laughed and informed me that my classmate was actually correct in some ways.
She told me that sex was something that was absolutely ok as long as you are married
to the person you have sex with. I remember that I was absolutely floored by
this, and it was hard for me to accept because I had believed it was something
so horrible for as long as I could remember. And then I thought it was absolutely
gross. But, the moral of me telling this story is just how important it is for
us to educate our children about his very important subject. Not by giving the easy
answer like “its just bad” and pretty much lying to our children, but giving
them the full picture of how this subject is a very sacred thing, so this way
our children will know how to handle it (and themselves) in future situations.
Why is sex important and what is the purpose of it? I love
how a past Bishop explained it to me once, referring back to genesis where God
said a man should cleave unto his wife and they become one, he said that sex is
a way of connecting a husband and wife that allows their bond to grow stronger.
It’s a symbol of them “becoming one” but physically, it’s also literally. This is
not something to taken lightly or mocked in any way shape or form. Sexual intimacy
between a husband and wife is a very sacred relationship. And something that will
very much determine our happiness in family life and with life in general. It strengthens
your relationship with your spouse ONLY if it is used in a sacred way.
Why is
it ok? Or maybe a better question is when is it ok? In the world, sex is ok with
anyone as long as you are doing it safely, but in the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-Day Saint culture we tend to think that if you have slipped up in anyway
shape or form, no one is going to want you. This can often lead to the idea
that if someone was molested or raped, they are unclean and cannot be forgiven.
While we don’t believe in the world perspective, we also know that the atonement
is for all people, a way to heal and become clean.
Thursday, November 1, 2018
Transition into marriage. I don’t know
about you guys, but as a single young woman I often wonder what it’s going to
be like when I finally make that transition into marriage with my future
husband. Is it going to be hard? Are we
going to be two totally different people when we finally decide to tie the
knot? And what if we change during the time that we are married? Well, I have
discovered that the root of these concerns is something to be resolved during the
time that a couple transitions into the phase of engaged. A transition into marriage
is just that, a TRANSITION. We have to work our way into that next phase with your
significant other. As you move from each phrase (dating, to courtship to
engagement) the stakes go up more and you are still suppose to keep learning
about the other person. As you transition you are still creating patterns that
you will follow during the time you are married to each other. You face new
trials and challenges together, get to see how each other respond to stress
(like planning a wedding) see how you handle the other when they are in a bad
mood and how well you work with each other. As you continue to spend time
together (and also important to spend time AWAY from each other) you continue to
discover new aspects about a person that you can see and choose if you can handle
that particular thing about them.
So now you have seen them under stressful
situations, seen them with your family, kids, how they spend their money, clean
the toilet and vice versa. You have decided taking this step with them is something
that you really want to do and are willing to make this commitment with them. But
this isn’t the end, the problems don’t stop after marriage. Often times a
couple really struggles with in their first year of marriage because they are
still making many adjustments, that sometimes causes more problems… or problems
you didn’t think were going to be a problem. Couples now are sharing the same spaces
full time and have to share everything (information, family time, necessities) they
have to make decisions together that will really affect how well they correlate
together. They have to decide the division of roles they are going to have and responsibilities
they will share. They have to adjust in their friend groups to better fit their
relationship. They really have to think about taking care of their spouses
needs as well as their own. They have to constantly be making adjustments
because situations change. They have to consider priorities and what they are
going to sacrifice for. Such as time for family home evenings and scripture
study. And most importantly, now they have to be creating their own traditions or
rituals as a family to create their unique family system.
Something that I have really
learned this week is the importance of establishing healthy boundaries between
family members, friends, peers and even with each other. As you create a new
family system, there are a lot of dynamics that go into the new family. Like the
relationship between you and your in laws and your spouse’s relationship with
your family. Then the relationship
between you and your spouse as you begin to have children. The decision to have
children is a huge blessing and also a huge stretch for a couple. As children
are born, this event often takes the attention of the mother and is now more focused on the children than she
is on the relationship with her husband. This often causes a strain in the relationship
between husband and wife as they strive to continue building their relationship
with the responsibility of children. It’s important for couples to develop the
skills they need for marriage before they actually get married so they can
handle these struggles together. And this is why we have to be focused on the
patterns that we are creating before we get married and are in the other
stages.
Thursday, October 25, 2018
A lot of things that I have
anticipated to be very important in a relationship I feel has been confirmed
for me this week. Although I may not have a boyfriend, or have been in many
serious relationships, I have talked through my friends’ problems with them in
their relationships trying to help them figure out how to get through their problems.
I have drawn the conclusion that we don’t fall in love the same way that we
used to in the past. I often wonder, why are people not staying married for 60
years just like many of our grandparents…. Is that just an old-fashioned thing?
Or did they understand something that we don’t? People also don’t prepare for
marriage the way they used to, maybe these are some of the reasons why a lot of
relationships don’t workout in our day today. This could also be the reason why
the divorce rate has increased so much over the years.
In this blog I wanted to talk about some of the defaults or mistakes that we take in our approach to dating in our society today, as well as the difference of how people transition into the next step of a relationship. But first, I wanted to use the Relationship Attachment Model as a guide line for my blog topic, this model shows how a couple can develop a healthy attachment to one another (as long as the couple keeps the priorities in order). The first is 1) Know: how well you know this person, the time you have spent with them (talk, time and together), 2) Trust: after number 1, you develop trust for this person, you believe they will be honest, 3) Rely: you believe they will be there for you and will help in times of need, support you emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually etc, 4) Commit: you decide that you know, trust and rely on them enough that you can commit to them. Only show interest and date that one person, you have decided to focus on them and no other. 5) Touch: this is the glue to a relationship, it binds you together to create even more of an attachment. This increases the feelings you have for them. The steps in this model are very important for each relationship since it can help determine the priorities in the relationship. I think priorities is exactly where we go wrong today.
Saturday, October 20, 2018
Hey y'all!! This week was a real eye opener for
me. Have you ever had that moment when you seriously thought about your
potential, gifts and talents? These things consist of who we are. If you are
religious, we know the as gifts from God that he wants us to grow to help us be
happy, if you’re not religious these things still make you, you. But what roles
do these gifts they play in your life or even in society? Today I wanted to
focus on writing about how who we are, and who we choose to be, affects every
aspect of the person that you will become.
I will start with a very controversial
statement, I feel that the gender you are born with plays a HUGE part of who
YOU are. Many people believe they can just change and become what they want to
be or what they think will make them happy. Some people will change so much
about themselves in a sper of a moment based off feelings, ideas or peers. Now,
I’m not talking about making goals to being a kinder person or being more
active in their family life etc., I’m talking about people who are wanting to
change the things about them that are more permanent such as gender, facial
structure, height, body size (shape), skin color, or ethnicity. They want to
change the things that make them who they are instead of ACCEPTING what makes
them who they are. If a girl is more of a tom boy and enjoys doing more
masculine things she can embrace those preferences as well as be ok with who
she is as a woman. There is no mistake, there was no accident that you were
born a male or female (whether you are religious or not), your natural body is
apart of who you are. And most importantly, your role as a male or female both
equally play a big role in society and impacts many people’s lives, mainly your
future family.
Men and Woman are both equal but different.
It’s just how things are so we can have a more balanced world. Could you
imagine if everyone was the same, what would the world be like? Probably boring,
dull and weak because there is no diversity to make the weak things about it
strong. Too many people focus on how men are either better than women or women
are better than men. It seems to be a power struggle between the two, maybe we
should start focusing on and looking at things with a more “we need each other”
attitude and things would start getting better? I don’t know but that is definitely
my thoughts! Maybe if there was a focus on both genders being equal but
acknowledging their difference, men and women would feel the need to make up
some kind of difference. The truth is women are just generally better at things
that men can’t do and vice versa. Men and Women are also generally different from
the very beginning, since infancy. Boys
prefer to ruff house, fight, and building things and while girls focus more building
relationships, playing with dolls and nurturing things. Together men and women can
really make a great team in balancing each other out.
I feel that there is truly nothing
wrong with accepting who you are as a male or female. And most importantly so
important to embrace the things about you that make you you. Whether you like
them or not or want to change them. We need to all love ourselves enough to
accept the characteristics that we have been given and grow them to their
fullest potential. And is what makes us all different and unique.
Thursday, October 11, 2018
Hello friends! Last week I talked about the different family
dynamics in the home and how they influence how we function together. But, we
know a lot of different factors play into how our families function together,
so today I thought I would blog about the cultures in families and how they
influence how we react and respond to each other in our family units. Now, when
I talk about culture, I don’t just mean the ethnic culture that each family
comes from (although that is a huge influence as well), I mean the cultures
that we create in our families come based on our social standing in society.
This will determine if we work a lot or not at all, causing parents to be home
with their children or not, potentially effective the relationship between
parents and children, and then even sibling to sibling.
As I was studying about the different cultures of families,
I particularly studied one article called “The Costs of Getting Ahead” by
Marticia L. Bacallao and Paul R. Smokowski, this article primarily focuses on
the effects that immigration has on Mexican families. Which, in my opinion,
there was a dramatic difference in how the family was before immigration compared
to after immigration. From the multiple
accounts given, these families were strong tight units before they immigrated
to the United States, but when they got here, things took a turn for the worst
as they had to begin working long hours, leaving behind family members (a lot of
the time husbands), traditions, and language. In most cases with these families,
it was the mother who came to the united states with her children (without her husband)
and had to be the main provider for the family, taking her away from her children
during the critical ages where guidance from a parent is very much needed. So, majority
of the time that would leave these kids home and alone increasing their odds to
get in trouble. I know for me, when I was in the 2nd and 3rd
grade my mother and father both worked. So that left me and my 2 other elementary
aged siblings home alone for a few hours before mom came home from work. This
left us with a few hours to be able to do whatever we wanted, and very often my
siblings and I got in trouble when we were caught doing those things we weren’t
supposed to by mom when she got home. The only time that we stopped doing what
we weren’t supposed to was when mom started to stay home and was with us most
of the time. I can honestly say that if she didn’t start staying home, my disobedient
behavior probably wouldn’t have stopped the way it did.
Because teenagers where far away from their extended
families it caused many of them a lot of stress. One young woman spoke about how
hard it was dealing with the emotional stress of being separated from Grandparents,
aunts, uncles and cousins. She became depressed and contemplated suicide as her
mother was away at work and had no one she loved that she could turn to. Other
teenagers would get into trouble with the law because there was no one around
to supervise or correct them. In other families, parents got divorces or the
relationships with the Father were very strained due to the long hours spent at
work or the long time they would be separated from the family.
In conclusion, we see that there are many things that contribute to our family cultures, work, money, time, priorities, hobbies, location, etc. All these daily factors contribute to how we could be as a family and where we can end up in the future. We know it is important for us to be with our children, growing strong relationships to help secure and sustain them in their futures to have a more positive outcome.
Thursday, October 4, 2018
Hello Everyone! Today I wanted to
talk about a list of different theories that influence our family dynamics and
why these theories are so important in how our family’s function today. Now,
something that I always love to do is have a question in my head like “which
one of these sounds the most like me and my family?” or “how can I identify the
kind of family dynamic I have?” There are so many ways we can improve ourselves
and our families every day! I just wanted to invite you all to have some kind
of question in mind as I write about these different theories.
Theory
Number 1: Conflict Theory
This is where an individual will
interact more on the basis of conflict rather than consensus. The two people
are not equal, there is always someone who has the power and is in charge who
will use whatever resources they have against the other person to keep their power,
whether it be through their job, social standing, etc. Its whoever can influence the other person. There
are many different ways to influence someone, a loved one or not. For example,
if a wife is the bread winner and her husband didn’t clean the house or do the
dishes by the time she gets home, she will use the fact that she is the bread
winner to guilt her husband into doing what she wants him to do.
Theory
Number 2: Exchange Theory
Getting more out of the
relationship than what you put into it. A lot of the time in relationships (especially
today) we will hear “I just wish he would do this more for me more” or “She
never does what I want her to do” It’s the mindset of why don’t they give me what
I want? And sometimes, couples will draw the conclusion that they won’t work
out because they do not get what they want from a spouse. Studies have shown
that when a partner had changed in the way that their spouse requested them to
change (in very small ways) that the problem was solved momentarily, but later
the marriage or relationship failed.
Theory
Number 3: Symbolic Theory
The different interpretation of a person’s
motive behind what they do, say or act. For example, if a man comes home from
work and goes into his room right away instead of talking to his wife, she could
interpret that as he doesn’t want to talk to her (or doesn’t care about her
day) and therefore she takes that as he doesn’t love her. While in reality, he
just had a stressful day at work and didn’t want to take out his frustration on
his family, so he took some time to cool down. A lot of people tend to read into other people
too deeply and often misinterpret the other persons actual feelings. I feel like
for reasons like this, communication is key…. As long as you don’t misinterpret
what the other person is saying.
Theory
Number 4: The Systems Theory
This is a good one, the systems
theory is systematic (but different) relationships between the different family
members in a family. There can be many different family systems, like between a
mother and a daughter, mother and son, brother and sister, father and daughter.
There are many different relationships within a family setting. There are
always unspoken rules, allies, traditions, sayings, etc. When I was a younger
(since I’m the youngest of 9) my 2 siblings just older than me always pared up against
me in fights, arguments, games. They were always against me. But thank goodness
that our family dynamics can change and we are no longer like that!
Which family system sounds the most
like yours? It is so interesting all the different ways that families can work
and operate. This week I had a realization that we must all be very aware of
the family dynamic we want to create when we have our own children. We as
parents will be the biggest influence in their life. We literally create the
future (Future society, government, etc.). Our families play such a big role in
who we are. Lets do the best we can to be the best for our future families.
Friday, September 28, 2018
Hello everyone!
In this week’s post I wanted to address the topic
of overpopulation. Is it really that bad of a thing if we have all the facts? Or
at least in this post some of them. But as you read, just keep one question in
mind…. Is it really not beneficial to have a big family? In the 1960s, after
the baby boom, scientists and authors were afraid for future inhabitants of the
world and the resources they would be left with. In 1968 the book “The
Population Bomb” by Paul Ehrlich came out saying that in years to come, if the population
kept growing and people were having more and more children, then there will be
a period when humanity will be left with no resources, will struggle to survive
or even perish. He stated that it was even selfish for people to have big
families, taking opportunities as well as resources away from their own children
and other people’s children as well as destroying the environment. Sending the message
that if you have a big family then you are selfish and destroying the world you
live in. Many people were convinced that if the population kept growing and
families expanding, then famine, lack of housing and lack of necessity’s would
be the result. The idea of that even happening scared the people so much that they
actually stopped having as many kids. Now, in 2018, if you even have 3 kids you
are considered having a big family, with 4 a huge family, and 5…. you are just
plain selfish.
Isn’t it interesting how media can have
such a big effect on society? It can even determine the worlds population if it
wanted too! Kind of a scary thought, as I was watching street interviews of random
people being asked why they don’t have big families or why they thought big
families were not the best idea, some of their comments addressed the issues of
not having enough money to take care of multiple children, having fewer
children allows their children to have better or more opportunities in the
future, more convenient to have fewer children, or they themselves don’t have
big families or any siblings so they don’t think having a big family is a big
deal. Well maybe we should address some of the reasons why it is such a good
idea to have more than 1 child a family.
Two words “Human Capital” this
means, that the bigger the population, the more resources provided and the more
people on your team to work with to better society. With less people, the Human
Capital goes down, causing our society to be less sufficient because there are
less people with the proper skill sets to solve problems and get certain jobs
done. This causes our children to have to work smarter and harder to get the same
jobs done without getting any richer. Which doesn’t seem very productive. Now
let’s talk a little bit about fertility rates. Since “The Population Bomb” came
out the average white women went from having about 3 children in her life time
to having 1 child today. Why would this be a problem? Well, when you hear the term
Replacement Birthrate what do you think of? Is it really important? You can
decide that yourself after I tell you what it is, the replacement birthrate is
the number of children a woman can have in her lifetime that will cause the
population to increase, if she doesn’t hit that number than the population will
decrease. This magic number is 2.13, if a woman has 2 kids in her life than the
population will increase, if any less than the population will decrease. But if
the average white women are only having about 1 child today, why is the
population size in America so big?
One word, Immigration. If it wasn’t
for the people coming over from Mexico (and other places) than we wouldn’t have
very many people in the U.S. The number of children Hispanic women are having
is what is keeping us at the replacement birthrate we need to have the people to
keep filling in the jobs we have created. But wont there always be people
wanting to come over from Mexico to the US? Not necessarily. It has also become
a trend in Mexico to have less and less children. I don’t know if they will keep
coming over to help us out if there are opportunities for the in the place thy
were born in. But like I said these are
only a few of the facts that tell us why big families are Important. I can
personally tell you myself, that as the last child of 9 kids, huge family has
blessed my life so much. My siblings have taught me great life lessons and
provided me with the help I need to be successful and not alone. I love big
families! I hope your not afraid of having one either. Who knows how you can
change the world.
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