Growing up, I always told myself that I was never going to become like my parents, or raise my future children the way that they raised me. At times I felt that my mother was too mean and restrictive, that she never wanted me to be happy or have any fun, she never understood me and she just didn't know how she made me feel. Being 21 years old now, I look back and kind of count the lessons that she taught me grouping up. Her "harsh" judgments proved to know my every move (and sometimes thoughts), and I realize now that there were many great lessons that she taught me as a youth that made me as disciplined as I am today. Without the way that my parents raised me, I don't know if I would have turned out the way I am today. And that is a good thing because I actually like who I am today. I also feel very strongly that our loving Heavenly Father has put us with the family he knows can teach us what we need to know here on earth. That the parents we have now are the best equip to teach and raise us as long as they are choosing to live righteously. But, back to talking about parenting...
Although this refining process of becoming who I am today was a combination of trials and guidance from The Lord and my parents, I still appreciate the things that they had taught me, even thought sometimes I wish they had handled it differently. As I grew up, I noticed that my mother and father handled each of us a little bit differently. For example, my whole family is filled with baseball and softball players and all of us had started playing at a very young age. So we had a few years of experience by the time we had gotten to middle school. My older sister is two three grades older than me, so I was young at the time she was in the 8th grade. On her 8th grade softball team, she was bullied and teased about her weight and the way that she played. This very much was a hard trial for my sister (since this wasn't the first time that she had been bullied), and my mother let her quit in toward the end of the season and accepted that she never wanted to pick up another softball again. Then years down the road as I continued to play, I had made the High School Varsity team as freshman. This was a trial for me because the girls didn't like me due to many things about me physically and personally. I struggled with these bullies for the next 4 years and was never allowed to quit. My parents argued that I had come too far and worked too hard to get where I was and shouldn't let these girls chase me off because I was stronger. They worked hard to convince me that quitting wasn't going to be worth it, and i can wait until after the season to quit (since I was wanting to quit right before the State Championship Tournament). I grudgingly stayed on the team and endured to the end. And much to my own surprise, I had played my absolute best and pulled through tough plays in the tournament and made a big difference for my team. We ended up winning the State Championship, and it was a huge moment for me because I proved many people wrong that day.
To this day I cannot thank my parents enough for not letting me quit. Although at the time I thought it wasn't fair, because my sister went through the a similar experience but she was allowed to do what she had wanted and quit but I wasn't. I asked my parents why they didn't let me quit but they let her quit. And they told me that they knew me, they knew my potential, they knew how hard I had worked, and they knew I would have regretted it if I didn't stick it out. They knew I was tough and could handle the trial for a little while longer. This lesson taught me that I can not only do hard things (and even be successful) but that I can endure hard things. The next few years after this experience, I faced many hard trials physically and mentally. But I had no doubt that I could overcome them and be successful because I had done it before. I don't think I can thank may parents enough for teaching me that I can do hard things. And that not every solution works for everyone. They knew for my sister, she wouldn't have similar results because her circumstances were different.
And this ties me back to having a firm testimony that we have a very loving Father In Heaven and he knows us perfectly. He knew from the very beginning who would be the best fit as parents for us, because we would need them. And he wants us to be successful. Parenting is very much a divine calling from God himself.
